I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My vagina just clenched in fear
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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