yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
