She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
