youre lurking in front of me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
