we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
A+ Viking dick
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
