she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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