I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
