what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
