She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
