ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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