Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Will you blow on my dice?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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