sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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