so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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