Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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