dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
