he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize