you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
