ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
