Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize