is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
