so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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