he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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