Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
