Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
