so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
