she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
