i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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