If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
