you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize