dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
