He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
