I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
