I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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