I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
