She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize