I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
