i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
