Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
