Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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