I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
