You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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