with your own penis?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
