so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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