We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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