Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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