thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
