it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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