He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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