I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
