No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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