You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
