it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
