its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
