True but thats because hes a fetus.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
