To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
