Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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