Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
