what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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