so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
