yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize