Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
