she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
